There are many feels when I write this blog post. Very many feels. I remember the day I first met him. Tall, handsome, a little dorky, and a dead sexy voice performed by Troy Baker. All the things a gunslinger or a sage could ask for, except, well, he was a little standoffish. His awkward flirts were endearing for a while, and then became frustrating. Did he have a problem with commitment? He said otherwise, but his actions spoke volumes. And then Yavin 4 happened and how could I not trust those brown eyes staring down at me? But somewhere in my heart, I knew things couldn't last. Not with him. Not that I wished it. It was just a gut instinct.
In heavily story based game play, things of this kind happen. We fall in love with a character only to have the rug pulled out from under us. And sometimes, it actually hurts like a break-up. I hit the end of the train on Umbara and I just sat there in shock. I had heard rumors. I refused to believe them because there was no possible way Theron would betray me. He had been by my side for so many adventures. He had chided me when I tried to kill Senya and Arcann, but loved me anyway. So it was like my guts being wrenched out when I stood there staring at him through the red-hued forcefield as he monologued about the Eternal Alliance and he looked me dead in the eye telling me he was going to kill me.
So here's the stupid thing. I still can't accept for one moment that he truly betrayed me. Despite his assassination attempt, I can't help but feel that something else is going on. I can't put my finger on it. When Lana and I were walking into the cab of the train, he had his gun trained on us the whole time. If he had truly wanted to kill us, that would have been a golden opportunity. But he didn't. When he was ranting about alliances and rotting and takedowns, he still said "I love you, too." And finally, the explosion. Maybe if I had been less skilled, less experienced, I would have died in that train crash. But I wasn't and I know he knew that. That means it was only a cursory attempt on my life. It means he wanted me and Lana to escape. I know he cared for Lana too, having worked with her so long.
The question becomes - now what? If he is truly a traitor, then would I have the strength to destroy him? Would I be weak enough to let someone else do it for me? If he is not a traitor, do I have the patience and faith to wait for his return? Can I forgive him? Do I want to?
Join me tonight on another adventure!
~~~ Scrappywheelz ~~~
I feel this is all his plan to find out the Order's plan to find the weapon so he can either sabotage their plan or leak us the info. In order to do all this he had to gain their trust by pretending to betray us without our knowing what is really going on. I love this man and I refuse to give up on him...
ReplyDeleteIts the feeling I've had all along as well. The writer in me though has analysed how my girl would react to this seeming betrayal by him. There are plenty that would be willing to forgive. People, like my gunslinger though, probably could not, having experienced betrayal as a regular part of her life. She would not be able to trust him fully again and its not a feeling she could live with.
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